Breaking news, Verizon. There’s a new kid in town, a challenger for your WCW crown — Worst Company in the World.

Justin Gubbins, in recounting the reluctance of his daughter Megan’s Portuguese water dog, Geronimo, to run anymore — marking the end of a career whose highlight was a 42nd-place finish among more than 600 Montauk Turkey Trot entrants four years ago, said that food was pretty much Geronimo’s sole concern these days, sex apparently being out of the question.

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