Darlene Marie Lancaster “found joy in the simple pleasures of life — writing poetry, capturing moments through photography, and watching nature unfold around her,” according to her family. “Her love for the ocean, butterflies, art, and sunsets reflected her free spirit and deep appreciation for beauty.”
Ms. Lancaster died at home in Montauk last Thursday. She was 76 and had faced health challenges recently.
“She always said, ‘When I die I’m going to come back as a butterfly,’ ” her daughter, Corrine Colon, recalled this week.
Ms. Lancaster and her partner of 35 years, Carl DeGroote, shared a life “filled with steadfast love, commitment, and companionship. Together, they found joy in cooking, reminiscing, talking, and simply enjoying quality time side by side,” her family said.
She worked as a deputy East Hampton Town clerk for many years, and was a member of the Montauk Fire Department’s Ladies Auxiliary and St. Therese of Lisieux Catholic Church. “Her commitment to helping others was matched only by her unwavering faith and belief in the goodness of people,” her family said.
Ms. Lancaster was born in Queens on July 14, 1949, to Albert Lancaster and the former Dorothy Nazareth. She grew up there and in 1976 moved to Springs. Nine years later she settled in Montauk.
In her younger years, she found great joy in running and participated alongside her daughter in the L’eggs Mini Marathon. She enjoyed playing tennis with her son, Frederick Ryerson, and faithfully watched Wimbledon.
Her family said she will be remembered for “her positivity, her unconditional love, and her famous Sunday sauce, which brought family together for gatherings filled with lasagna, garlic bread, and her carrot cake. She always looked her best, never without her favorite lipstick and high heels, and was known to say with a smile, ‘You don’t kill time, you spend it.’ ”
Her daughter lives in Charlotte, N.C., with her husband, Gorgi, and her son is in Florida with his wife, Vanessa. Mr. DeGroote also survives, as do Ms. Lancaster’s grandchildren, Forrest, Cole, and Ava Yardley and Camille and Adriana Ryerson, and two siblings, Phillip Tassoni and Jeannette Enderbrock, both of Pennsylvania.
The family held a private service. They have suggested contributions in her memory to St. Therese of Lisieux Catholic Church, P.O. Box 5027, Montauk 11954, online at sttheresemontauk.com, or the Susan G. Komen Foundation at komen.org.
