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The Mast-Head: My Least-Favorite Car

Wed, 07/05/2023 - 18:17

The first issue of The Star of July 2023 seems the moment to officially announce my least-favorite car-and-driver combo of the summer — the black Audi.

Each year, a new source of vehicular irritation gets my attention; last year it was the instantly ubiquitous Jeeps, before that, maybe Cadillac Escalades. Now it is the shiny black Audis onto which I have focused my bile. Not all Audi drivers are jerks, but if someone is tailgating you or pulling out suddenly, as often as not he or she is in an Audi the color of a moonless night.

Several sources I saw claimed that black was the most dangerous car color, followed by gray and then silver. As for Audis, that might be a Long Island thing; according to the amazing, the most-popular auto make and style in New York State is a Honda sport-utility vehicle. Audis do not show up until the 40th spot on the list.

But in terms of accidents, Audis punch above their weight, coming in at 21st among all known vehicle types. For the record, I drive a Honda, the passenger car most likely to be involved in a crash in the state. Of course, I don’t think Honda drivers are problematic.

Speculating (as I tend to do to a fault), the drivers of black Audis appear insouciant as a group, if not simply aggressive. Perhaps they are drawn to the not-Mercedes or not-BMW mystique Audis offer among the other German imports. And Audis certainly do not evoke the same utilitarian note as Volkswagens of any color.

Strangely, though, one of my old girlfriends was the first person I knew to drive an Audi — it was, however, silver, and she was sweet as sweet could be.


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