Skip to main content

Connie Dembia, 98

Thu, 06/18/2020 - 13:44

Connie Dembia of Wainscott and Ramsey, N.J., died on May 20 at home in Ramsey at the age of 98. Her family wrote that she had not been ill, “just very, very old.”

 Her interests and accomplishments were varied, from reading and sewing to politics, social issues, and social justice. As a child growing up in Brooklyn, where she was born Carmela Di Paola on Dec. 11, 1921, she was a champion handball player, and all through her life loved dancing. 

Her father was John Di Paola, who had immigrated to this country from Avellino, near Naples, and who fought for the United States in World War I. In 1921 he went back to his hometown to find a wife and married Gaetana Basso. They sailed back together in June 1921.

 Mrs. Dembia attended Girls’ High School in Brooklyn, but left during the Depression to work to help her family. She received a GED, equivalent to a high school diploma, later in life. “She valued knowledge and believed in the power of the individual,” her family wrote.

During World War II she worked at the Brooklyn Navy Yard. She married Joseph T. Dembia, the son of Polish immigrants, in 1946. He died in 2015.

 Mrs. Dembia held a few part-time jobs as her family was growing. In Wainscott, she and her husband first stayed with New Jersey neighbors, Mary and Archie Baxter, until 1960, when they bought a house built in 1888 for Mae Osborn. Ultimately they bought Barbara and Bill Babinski’s house across the street.

Her three children, Lorraine D. Tanner of Seymour, Conn., Robert Dembia of Roslyn, and Denise D. Higgins of West Chesterfield, N.H., survive, as does a brother, Samuel Di Paola of Wainscott and Brooklyn. Another brother, Rocco Di Paola of Kissimmee, Fla., died in 2009.

 Five grandchildren survive as well. “She was very proud that they all went to top schools: Harvard, Yale, Cornell, Stanford, the London School of Economics,” said Ms. Higgins. They are Dr. Geoffrey Tanner of New Haven, a professor of neuroscience at the University of Connecticut; Greg Tanner of Fairfield, Conn., a financial planner; Dr. Christopher Dembia of Palo Alto, Calif., an engineer working in musculoskeletal simulation research; Anna Manning of Norfolk, Va., who works at a Reykjavek-based company in Iceland while attending the London School of Law online, and John Dellafuente of Hallandale, Fla., who works in printing and real estate. She also leaves four great-grandchildren.

Mrs. Dembia was a humanist and belonged to no church. She was cremated. The family will hold a memorial service at the Wainscott Chapel sometime this summer and will bury her ashes in the Wainscott Cemetery.

Villages

The Hedges Inn: Luxury in a ‘Tiny Little Footprint’

“We call ourselves East Hampton’s front porch because we’re the first thing you see when you pull into the village,” Sarah Wetenhall, who now owns the inn with her husband, Andrew, said. “One of our big missions here is to make the Hedges and Swifty’s open and available for the community.”

May 29, 2025

Item of the Week: The Summer of 1944, a Guide

A copy of the 1944 “East Hampton Social Guide” from the L.V.I.S. offers a fascinating snapshot of the local businesses and transit options of the time.

May 29, 2025

Recalling Great Sacrifice and ‘Simple Things’

The sacrifice of “those who paid so terrible a price to ensure that freedom would be our legacy” was underlined again and again during Memorial Day observances in East Hampton. “If you want to honor their memory, then do the things they can’t,” said retired Marine Major Conlon Carabine. “Care for your family, care for yourself, care for your community, and try not to take the simple things in life for granted.”

May 29, 2025

 

Your support for The East Hampton Star helps us deliver the news, arts, and community information you need. Whether you are an online subscriber, get the paper in the mail, delivered to your door in Manhattan, or are just passing through, every reader counts. We value you for being part of The Star family.

Your subscription to The Star does more than get you great arts, news, sports, and outdoors stories. It makes everything we do possible.