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Guestwords: The DSM — Goodreads **

Wed, 01/25/2023 - 15:05

Marty rated it * * *

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders came in handy when I was terminating my analysis. I recommend it.

 

Diana rated it * * *

There is no reason why an elderly Jewish intellectual cannot join a gang. It just talks to the unlimited potential of the human being to become whatever they want to be. 

 

Art rated it * * * *

I found out you can now reserve your electroconvulsive shock therapy on OpenTable. It’s an invaluable piece of information which I might never have learned if I hadn’t purchased the DSM.

 

Joan Shapiro rated it * * * *

My practice was founded in 1955. I’m now a training analyst, endodontist, and Shakespeare scholar. After all these years, the DSM is still an invaluable resource. 

 

[Moderator: The above review is obviously self-promotional. Katia, can you remove it?]

[Katia: Bill, I don’t see what’s so bad about it. Lots of people who’re pretending to be offering objective judgments are merely blowing their own horns.]

[Bill: I’ll talk to you about this later!]

 

Siri rated it * * *

Are there any spots left for the 11 a.m. spin? I’ve really got to get out of this depression. Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize this is the review page for the DSM. I thought it was Peloton.

 

Max rated it * * * *

My reading of the DSM inspired me to write “Bipolarity and Housecleaning.” Here is the abstract: Psychiatrists have long been aware of the positive effect of manic-depressive disorder as it relates to housecleaning. Prolonged periods of manic and hypomanic activity can result in the disappearance of bacteria from countertops and also from the tiles of bathroom floors (Journal of Psychodomesticity, Vol. VII, No. 5). A study of 350 maids with histories of depression has demonstrated constantly high approval ratings from employers, particularly with regard to the speed of their output.

 

[Moderator: Max, this is plainly a sexist post. Please refrain from these kinds of posts.]

[Katia: Bill, excuse me, but I don’t find anything wrong with what Max has written.]

[Bill: I’ll discuss this with you later.]

 

Irving rated it * * * *

The DSM helped me to understand my treatment. I used both the sections on episodic and procedural memory to bring back how Dr. Klein placed a white doily on the trapezoidal pillow that lay at the end of the couch. I’d heard there was a special furniture maker who produced upholstered psychoanalytic couches. “Lie back,” he said during that first session. The night before I’d had a dream about horses violently mating, which I immediately related. “Admiral Richard E. Byrd claimed to be bipolar” were the next words out of my mouth.

Later in the treatment, Dr. Klein asked, “I was wondering if you could come on Thursday at 10:40.”

“Instead of the usual 11:30?”

“Um.”

 

Miriam rated it *

The constant mention of sex in the DSM has fueled my addiction. I am also putting this review on TripAdvisor and Yelp.

 

Virginia rated it * * *

I recommend the DSM but I want to ask everyone this question: Have you tested negative for narcolepsy yet still find yourself nodding out in the middle of conversations? Then you may be one of the millions of Americans dying of boredom.

 

Frank rated it * * *

The DSM has helped me to understand my family dynamic. My wife is just like my father. Every time I try to talk to her, she’s either on the phone or on Instagram. I can’t get her attention. When I ask if she could stop what she’s doing just once, she gets annoyed and says, “Okay, what do you want to talk about?” I try to explain that I just want to be like other couples. Then she’s sullen and goes back to texting. Naturally the TV is on if we’re eating. I have to compete with her always silencing me because she wants to hear something. I’m damned if I do and if I don’t. I feel like I’m going to fall off the event horizon of a black hole. I also need to share that there’s an organized conspiracy against me. The whole thing began in Paris back in ’72. I was staying in a dank Latin Quarter hotel with my Haitian girlfriend. I got drunk and bolted from the room when she wasn’t looking. She left the following note: “I never met such a pig in my life.” She practiced voodoo. I think she must have put a curse on me, since ever since my life has stunk.

So, we have to stop. We’ll continue next time.

 

Leon rated it * * * *

Even though I’m a longtime practitioner and member of many societies, I never fail to learn from the DSM. Here are some recent case notes: “The patient presents as quiet and almost studious, touching the edge of my desk and examining my antique envelope opener. There’s a certain aggression associated with his availing himself of my personal property, but I don’t react to the provocative behavior. I merely ask if he’s interested in antiques. We agree to meet the following week en meme temps.”


Francis Levy is a Wainscott resident. An animated version of his novel “Erotomania: A Romance” has recently been completed and its trailer can be found on YouTube by searching for “Francis Levy Erotomania.”


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