“Put the phone down, we’re ready to talk to you, Cuz.” That was Maria Taylor of NBC Sports after the game Sunday night, gently dressing down a not-ready-for-prime-time Donovan Mitchell of the Cleveland Cavaliers.
That’s not entirely fair. Mitchell was plenty ready during the actual game that night, draining 22 points against the Orlando Magic to help wrap up the first-round playoff series and punch a ticket to face the Detroit Pistons, a different species to those of us stuck in the Bill Laimbeer and Rick Mahorn “Bad Boys” days of old, and yet the top seed in the East nonetheless.
But Maria Taylor’s fast-on-her-feet humor that for a few seconds drew back the TV journalism curtain was notable, and this, paired with knowledge of the game, no-hitch delivery, outlandish good looks, and (listed) 6-foot-2 height that in heels has her looking N.B.A. forwards eye to eye, could lead a viewer to wonder if she’s in fact from another planet.
Just when you think the N.B.A. is all but unwatchable, they draw you back in. They being Maria Taylor and her compatriots in commentary, hall of famers all: Tracy McGrady, a 6-8 shooting guard who averaged 19.6 points per game over 15 years, Vince Carter, known for some of the highest-flying dunks ever seen, once famously spread-eagled over the head of a 7-foot European in the Olympics, and Carmelo Anthony, whether for the Nuggets or the Knicks, one of the great clutch players of all time.
It’s generally accepted that no one is going to match the combination of gravitas and levity from Kenny Smith and Charles Barkley doing the analysis for March Madness on CBS, but these guys come pretty close.
Carter. VC, as he’s called. One gets the sense he’s beaten back a certain all-star jerkiness to earnestly apply himself to being a good commentator, and he’s succeeded. McGrady, T-Mac, is a grouch, but an appealing one, perfectly content to ask a host, “What are you smirking at?” (Which was funnier than it sounds.) And Carmelo Anthony, Melo, is simply the coolest cat on television.
The problem remains the dogging-it, overlong regular season, which truly can be skipped, sports fans. The playoffs, though, bring the energy, and the guys in the studio were lost in it this night, from hailing the newfound stardom of the Magic’s Paolo Banchero to shaking their heads in disbelief at the San Antonio Spurs’ 7-foot-4, French-born Victor Wembanyama, who’s impossible to handle at either end of the floor.
On and on the banter went, until Maria Taylor comically put an end to it by slamming her laptop shut, exclaiming, “I’m tired of y’all!”
For late on a Sunday night, maybe so. But sign me up for the next installment.