The East Hampton Village engineer, Vincent Gaudiello of the Raynor Group, declared the village’s Emergency Services Building on Cedar Street unsafe for public assembly last Thursday afternoon after a condensation leak exposed a structural problem in the roof.

Let us introduce you to the Landcraft Garden Foundation, the North Fork’s fraternal obverse to Jack Lenor Larsen’s LongHouse Reserve and a paradise that Dennis Schrader and Bill Smith have been building on the North Fork since 1992.

At first, I liked the bamboo. It was a comforting green wall, separating me from my neighbor’s pool. When the wind blew, it sounded like one hand clapping. At the same time, I found myself thinking, “If the revolution comes, I will dig a trench around my house and fill it with bamboo spears.”