As a lifelong anxious, reluctant, and fearful ocean swimmer, the thought of spending my Saturday and Sunday mornings running in and out of the ocean at Atlantic Avenue Beach in Amagansett, regardless of wave conditions or whether the flag was green or yellow, sounded overwhelming — no, terrifying! Reluctantly, I signed up for the East Hampton Town and Hampton Lifeguard Association Adult Beach Guardian program and showed up for my first day.
Here it was, day one of my emerging ocean swimmer-to-be. After a brief lecture on the beach about how to identify the sweep and what a rip current actually is, my 20 or so fellow Beach Guardians-in-the-making and I trotted down to the water’s edge for a casual swim out to the nearest buoy — a mere 50 yards out. But to me it might as well have been 50 miles. All of my classmates and our six seasoned lifeguard instructors ran into the waves and started their swim.
Not me. I just couldn’t do it. I stood at the water’s edge, frozen — wanting to go in like everyone else, but I just couldn’t get past the paralyzing fear of being hit or tumbled by the breaking waves. One of the lifeguard instructors looked back and saw me standing there. He swam all the way back, asking me if I wanted to get in the water.
Standing there, feeling a mix of terror and embarrassment, I lamely croaked out, “I want to, but I can’t. I’m too scared.”
Being the excellent instructor that he is, he literally took my hand and gently said, “Let’s do it together.” And in spite of my fear, I plunged in, listening to his instructions about when to dive under and when to roll over the incoming waves. And stroke by stroke, anxious breath by anxious breath, I joined my fellow Guardians out at the buoy.
And thus began my six-week odyssey of learning to “keep doing hard things,” as my fellow Beach Guardian Nancy kept reminding me.
Week by week, I kept at it. Fear and all, I kept showing up. Once I got going, I found out that I am not a quitter, despite the paralyzing fear and anxiety that, at the beginning, left me breathless.
All of a sudden, this adult water safety and ocean swimming class became an apt metaphor for life lessons in overcoming fear, doing hard things, and remaining teachable.
Now, to be fair, I wasn’t the only one who was scared. We were a mixed group of men and women — some very strong swimmers, and some, like me, who can swim but rarely swim in the ocean. Many were parents of kids in the junior lifeguard program, an astounding town effort to waterproof our community, with over 300 kids ranging in age from 9 to 15 who spend their summer weekend mornings learning about the ocean, overcoming fear, and starting the road to becoming future lifeguards.
If you had told me on Memorial Day that by Aug. 1 I’d be competing with 20 other adults in two of the junior lifeguard tournament events, running into the water on a yellow-flag day to swim out to be the “victim” in a rescue exercise, I’d have said, “You’re out of your mind. It’ll never happen.” And yet, it did.
With the help of supportive classmates and the safety of incredibly knowledgeable and encouraging instructors, even I could get past my knee-jerk “No, I’m not doing this.” I learned I could take risks, finding out that I am, in fact, made of tougher stuff than I ever imagined.
I didn’t even mind coming in dead last in the women’s run-swim-run event at the junior lifeguard tournament. I did it, and that was all that mattered. By the end, I could honestly say that I enjoy being in the water and have a comfort level and confidence I never thought possible.
What’s the takeaway here? No matter our age, no matter our fear, we must and can keep challenging ourselves and do the hard things. And with the patient, knowledgeable, and, yes, persistent instructors who wouldn’t take my “no” for an answer, the ocean and I are now on speaking terms.
And believe me, a lot of the other stuff in my life that used to look so daunting pales in comparison to what it took me to dive in the ocean on those July weekends. I’ll say to myself, “If you can get in that water, you can do pretty much anything you are facing on any given day.” It has been a mind-altering shift in my perspective and so much more than a class in ocean safety.
If you’re like I was — if you don’t get in the ocean unless it’s warm and flat on an August day — take this class next year. You’ll find out you’re braver and tougher than you thought. It’ll change what you know about beach safety and how the ocean works. You’ll get more comfortable in the water, and you might even discover that you can take bigger risks than you thought in other areas of your life.
Don’t forget: As Eleanor Roosevelt and Glennon Doyle said, “We can and must do hard things.”
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Katherine Mitchell is a licensed clinical social worker in Noyac and a 32-year resident of the East End, now living in East Hampton.