Hey, everybody! How’s it going? How ya doing? Have you been as confused and disoriented as we have been by the strangeness that continued to unfold — to accelerate, in fact — in the world at large in 2025? You know, from the drive-by of 31/ATLAS (the latest interstellar comet invader) to the bulldozing of the Rose Garden, where JFK feted the Mercury astronauts and Reagan kicked a soccer ball around with Pele? We’re navigating weird days, are we not, friends?
In this context of topsy-turvy, we thought it might help to provide East readers with an early glossary of 2026’s hard-working words and phrases, so, if nothing else, you can join the conversation and talk about it all.
Ate: Performed so well that there weren’t even crumbs left.
Aura: Exuding celebrity vibes of cool and excellence.
Black Swan Event: An event so unlikely no one plans for it, but when it happens it massively changes the world. See: 9-11.
Chopped: Looking like crap, but hopefully just for the day.
Crashing Out: Emotionally freaking out due to stressors.
DDOS Attack: A cyberattack that brings down networks with overwhelming amounts of malicious hacker traffic.
FTFY: “Fixed that for you!” A sarcastic social media riposte.
Go Bag: A survival kit kept handy in case of black swan event, natural disaster, or some other apocalyptic calamity.
Hard Carry: Singlehandedly, heroically carrying the team.
Hielo: Spanish for “ice.”
Internet of Things: “Smart” objects (thermostats, speakers, watches) that chat and exchange data over the internet.
Legend Behavior: Being extraordinarily helpful or accomplishing something cinematically amazing.
Louvre Security: A failure so bad it’s comical.
Main Character Energy: Exuding self-assured confidence panache, and self-respect.
Main Quest Energy: Exuding an aura of being on a mission that only heroes would tackle.
Medievalcore: Dressing in Maid Marian bodices and trumpet sleeves, chainmail, and other knightly accents.
Neiman Marcus Chicken: Successor to Marry Me Chicken and Million Dollar Chicken. Involves bacon and almonds.
Netflix & Medibles: Hiding from the world with T.H.C. gummies in front of a streaming device.
N.P.C.: Non-player character; video-game term used to deride others for being boring or lacking rizz and distinction.
Peekabutt: Pants with a waistband so low people can see your crack. Thank the Y2K fashion revival.
Secure the Bag: Reach your goal, especially financial.
Soft Life: Setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, lighting candles, journaling, sipping warm decaffeinated beverages
Trolligarchy: When your oligarchic leaders are trolls who provoke the populace by posting puerile provocations.
Unc: Short for “uncle,” it means you’re old.
Vibes Immaculate: Perfect, flawless, positive. Golden hour on a tropical beach.
W (pronounced “dub”): A win. And couldn’t we all use one.
— The Editors