Some people seem to have a sixth sense for picking the perfect present — something that feels special and a bit indulgent, chosen for you alone. The rest of us? We find ourselves at 4 p.m. on December 24 panicking in the aisle at Hildreth’s or snatching the last bar of perfumed soap off the nearly empty shelf at CVS after the hordes have rampaged through.
It may be materialistic, but we like getting nice presents, and we like giving them, too. Here are a few suggestions for how to avoid having your Hanukkah or Christmas gift show up in January at a White Elephant party.
Give This: A wonderful potted amaryllis in snowy white, tin-soldier scarlet, or peppermint stripes, wrapped with a wide ribbon and ready to burst into bloom. Find it at East Hampton Gardens or Wittendale’s in East Hampton; Flowers by Beth in Amagansett; Sag Harbor Florist; Marder’s in Bridgehampton, or Fowler’s Garden Center in Southampton.
Not That: A wrapped bouquet from Citarella — while quite pretty and appropriate at other times of the year — will be recognizable as something you tossed into your cart alongside your oat milk and Stilton.
Give This: A C.S.A. membership or modest gift certificate from Amber Waves Farm, Balsam Farms, Green Thumb Organic Farm, or Quail Hill. They’ll be dining on fresh, seasonal produce in summer and thinking admiringly of you.
Not That: Prepacked food gifts that no one actually eats. Just say no to that “gourmet popcorn” tin filled with caramel, cheese, and plain — the holy trinity of meh. It’s time to call a cultural end to the horror that is the corporate joy of a basket packed with Wisconsin cheese, weirdly soft sausage, and waxy chocolate-covered fruit.
Give This: Hand-knit anything. Mittens, beanie, scarf, baby sweater, socks. Look for knit woolies at the seasonal craft sales: Homegrown for the Holidays at Hayground School in Bridgehampton on December 6; the By Hand Artisan’s Holiday Gift Show at Ashawagh Hall in Springs on December 13 and 14, etc.
Not That: Microfleece in any form. No thick fuzzy socks. No thick fuzzy throws with Nordic patterns. No oversize hoodies, snugglies, no Comfies, no blanket hoodies. We like to veg out in warm, lazy comfort watching The Great British Baking Show, too, but those microplastics are screwing up the entire food chain.
Give This: Tickets to an adult art class: beginner’s pottery at Mudita in Water Mill or a life-drawing class at Golden Eagle in East Hampton.
Not That: Desk gadgets. No one really, really loves that mini zen garden with a rake, Newton’s cradle, or U.S.B.-powered fan.
Give This: A home-made, sweetly scented pomander made from cloves and tangerines. A home-made candle in a recycled clay yogurt pot, scented with lemon peel or mint leaves you have dried and distilled yourself. Make it a fun snow-day activity with little ones.
Not That: Mall-shop scented candles that smell like “sugar cookie” or “Christmas morning.” And unless the recipient has whispered the name of their favorite fragrance from Diptyque or Voluspa in your ear, you might want to skip that high-end $65 candle that smells like “Library After Rain,” too.
Give This: A coffee subscription or gift card from a local coffee house: Bonfire Coffeehouse in Amagansett, Sagtown Coffee in Sag Harbor, Grindstone in Sag Harbor and East Hampton, or Hampton Coffee Company (with multiple locations across the South Fork).
Not That: A generic Starbucks gift card. Practical? Yes. Personal? Not so much.
Give This: A tin of cookies from South Fork Bakery, a nonprofit with a mission to provide meaningful, paid employment to adults with disabilities.
Not That: Pantry items from the Home Goods food aisle. We know! They have great deals on balsamic and, like, pink Himalayan salt! But buy that stuff for yourself. Don’t wrap up that tin of Italian amaretto cookies, please.
Give This: A cool antique book from Sag Harbor Books or Black Cat Books on Shelter Island. A dime-store copy of a Raymond Chandler detective novel from the 1940s? A vintage 1930s copy of The Joy of Cooking? These are inspired finds for inspiring friends.
Not That: Inspirational tchotchkes, whether it’s a notebook with a quote on the cover (“You Are a Badass,” “365 Days of Positivity”) or motivational wall art (“Follow Your Dreams”). The kids think this stuff is cheugy; the grown-ups just find it depressing.
Give This: Fun souvenirs from . . . here. A canvas tote from Wm. J. Mills and Co., the sailmakers in Greenport. A giant, retro-looking East Hampton Star calendar. A cool-kid T-shirt from S & S Corner Shop in Springs or Doubles in Amagansett.
Not That: Probably-made-in-a-sweatshop novelty gifts that are pure kitsch but really don’t need to exist. “World’s Best [Job Title]” or “Don’t Talk to Me Until Coffee” mugs. Reindeer antler headbands. “Keep Calm and Carry On” anything.