Only eight sleeps until Memorial Day weekend arrives — with the usual bang of fender-benders, parties major enough to require valet parkers, and reality-television stars run amok — and in this mid-May countdown week we are aggressively making all possible efforts to seize the day and enjoy the proverbial calm before the storm.
It is going to be a wild summer. Have you read about the so-called “super el niño”? That’s a media phrase, designed to frighten — but there is science behind it. The National Weather Service’s Climate Prediction Center says that a strong el niño pattern this year may bring unusually muggy, unusually hot weather with unusual periods of heavy rain to eastern Long Island come July and August. Given the far more serious (or even deadly) potential impacts in other parts of the world, the best course of action is to buck up, shut up, and position a Vornado beside the bed. We’ve been complaining for weeks about how chilly the month of May has been here, but the National Weather Service at press time was forecasting a gorgeous weekend — sunshine, blue skies, and temperatures possibly inching into the 70s.
On our list of pleasant things to do in this fair weather before the holiday-weekend hordes arrive? Go to Round Swamp Farm to pick up some curry chicken salad and lemon pound cake, before the line snakes out the door. Get in a round of friendly pickleball on the public courts at Old Stone Highway while the courts are free. Catch “Blue Heron,” an arty movie by a Canadian-Hungarian filmmaker, at the Sag Harbor Cinema while there’s still a parking space on Main Street. Fill the hummingbird feeder with nectar; summer birds are back. Drive to Montauk for a sashimi platter and sunset view over the water at Inlet Seafood, because you can. Park at the head of the parking lot at Egypt Beach and walk the dog alone at dusk. Soak in the early season color of the gardens at the LongHouse Reserve while all is tranquil. Catch a long, leisurely coffee at Tutto Caffe. Take the kids for Sunday morning breakfast in a booth at the Candy Kitchen.
Southampton Town estimates that some 150,000 people may come east for the U.S. Open at Shinnecock Hills Golf Club in mid-June, with heavy congestion predicted on all surrounding roads. Let us pray any potential Long Island Rail Road strike is settled by then. The week after the Open, the first-ever NOMAD Hamptons art fair, a “a traveling showcase for collectible design, contemporary art, and cultural dialogue,” is coming to the Watermill Center (before setting up its traveling tents in Abu Dhabi and St. Moritz, no joke).
Regular consumers on the South Fork and in the country at large may be feeling a painful pinch at the gas pump and grocery store, but the luxury brand/restaurant/event economy here is raging. Expect not to be invited to the celebrity cabaret hangout at Maison Close at the Capri Hotel in Southampton, or to the Hamptons Concours d’Elegance in Bridgehampton on Aug. 1. What is that thumping Euro-beat noise you hear coming over the hedge in the night, and why are there so many cars valet-parked on the grassy verge? Why, it’s an endless datebook of designer-label brunches, branded private dinners and branded fitness classes, product tastings, and hosted brand-activation weekends.
It’s going to be a summer of torturous traffic, corporate-event takeovers, and “vertical brand marketing” (see Section A of this newspaper for coverage of the special goods on offer at the new Dick’s Sporting Goods “rotational pop-up”). Buckle up. Enjoy your quiet beer now and gather ye rosebuds while ye may.