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South Fork Poetry: ‘Vote Salamander!’ 

Thu, 02/17/2022 - 09:28

Originality is not common in human nature
Not every group has unique nomenclature
There are troops of mongoose and baboons 
Troops of dolphins, gorillas and raccoons 

Colonies of cormorants, colonies of mice
Colonies of termites and beavers and lice
But only two groups convene in a congress
One's power is zero, the other's humongous 

The first congress is populated by salamander 
A group that always hated the gerrymander 
This species is comprised of slimy amphibian 
Who would never blow the world into oblivion 

The second congress highlights human beings 
Who tend to spend days and nights disagreeing 
This gang is deemed a federal legislative body 
And will be filled to the gills with silly tomnoddy 

Congress A is deliberate and rarely reckless 
Congress B is undisciplined and fairly feckless 
Both groups emit poison when there's a threat 
One group nitpicks everything save the debt 

The first congress is in the family of frogs 
The second one leaps into long monologues 
One group is over seventy percent Caucasian 
Both species dine on digestible crustacean 

The reptilian congress is fertile and unisexual 
The civilian one is bicameral and ineffectual 
Salamanders flick small tails to stun a predator 
Politicians tick off tall tales to run for Senator 

Both parties have soft bodies and very thin skin 
Just one group will abandon their kith and kin 
Both have sticky fingers and sticky tongues 
But one has an uber-cockeyed weltanschauung 

Both congresses love to frolic in their swamp 
But one hides behind circumstance and pomp 
The lizards would never destroy the ecology 
The wizards traffic in unalloyed mythology 

One group is not equipped to sing the blues 
The other goes off-script to croon "Fake News" 
Salamanders can regenerate any lost limbs 
Politicians articulate prayers and hymns 

One congress creeps while ethically upright 
The other stands tall yet can reach no height 
Both groups act normal and appear quotidian
One of them will lie on the good book by Gideon 

When election day comes this "pro-gun" year 
Pay no attention to the big-ticket sloganeer 
You can take delight in your right to write-in 
Candidates for congress who let the light in

Vote Salamander!

Bruce Buschel is a writer who lives in Bridgehampton.

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