Larry Wagner, a legend behind the bar at the Stephen Talkhouse in Amagansett, died on Nov. 2 at the Kanas Center for Hospice Care in Quiogue. The cause was prostate cancer. Mr. Wagner was 71.
“For 47 years, he reigned as the most famous bartender on the East End,” said Peter Honerkamp, an owner of the popular bar and live-music venue. “Universally loved, he tackled life with humor and compassion. He had a magical capacity to make people feel important, because they were important. He enriched my life and I’ll miss him.”
“Larry was a walking, talking antidote to small talk and the mundane,” Tommy LaGrassa, a Talkhouse patron and close friend, said. “His secret sauce was trivia, be it sports, music, history, or general knowledge. He could elevate any boring cocktail party, peppering the room with pregnant questions. And his stock answer: ‘No, but I like the way you’re thinking.’ Delighting in the ritual, making any room he was in brighter. I know why we will all miss him. He was an authentic, naturally affable fellow. We’re grateful to him for all he brought to the table of life.”
That “table of life” included recreational sports such as kayaking, beach picnics, working out, Sundays at Cyril’s on Napeague, coaching girls softball, cheering on his beloved New York Giants and Yankees with his tribe of fellow fans, “Team Larry” trivia contests, long bicycle trips, sunsets at Bostwick’s, and, eventually, painting.
“Larry couldn’t even draw a stick figure,” said Leslie Reingold of Sag Harbor, one of Mr. Wagner’s closest friends and caregivers. “Then, one day, almost out of nowhere, he began drawing and painting.” He started with rocks, eventually moving on to canvas. “He was incredibly proud of his work,” Ms. Reingold said, “but what meant even more to him was that it offered another way to give something special to the people he cared about. Each piece was created with a particular friend in mind. His art was, in many ways, an extension of his generous spirit.”
Larry Wagner was born on May 14, 1955, in Teaneck, N.J., to William Wagner Jr. and the former Agnes Waters. He excelled in school and sports, and was recruited to play football for the University of Delaware, initially as a running back, and then as a receiver. A highlight was once catching a game-winning touchdown against the College of William and Mary.
Upon graduation, Mr. Wagner returned to New Jersey and became a history teacher and a coach of girls basketball. At the suggestion of Peter Bistrian, a University of Delaware teammate, he came to East Hampton to work during summer breaks. Mr. Bistrian “brought 14 or 15 of us out one summer,” he said in a 2013 interview for “Bar,” a book about the Stephen Talkhouse that was published this year. “They got us all jobs and we all stayed in a house. They went back to school, and I was older than them, my eligibility was over.” By the second summer, New Jersey was in the rearview mirror.
He worked at Martell’s by the Sea, the long-ago restaurant and bar on Amagansett’s Main Street, from 1978 to 1980. Later, working at the Sea Wolf on Three Mile Harbor Road in Springs, Mr. Wagner became known as the Five Dollar Man. “I worked in the back parking lot,” he said. “I collected five dollars on Friday and Saturday, and the same people would see me in the parking lot.”
Mr. Honerkamp acquired the Talkhouse in 1987, when the bar had been closed due to litigation between its then-owners. “The first and smartest thing I ever did in business was to drive up to the Sea Wolf, the other great bar of that era, where Larry Wagner was working the door,” he writes in “Bar.” Mr. Wagner “was the most consistently personable bartender I had ever met and there was no one I was more hopeful would come on board.”
Over the years, Mr. Wagner owned or “co-parented” with Ms. Reingold a kennel’s worth of canines and cats, many of them rescues, including L.T. (named after the Giants’ Lawrence Taylor), Dermot, China, Lola, Ryder, Sage, Sophia, and Lulu. For dogs, any time with Larry could be full of fun and treats, or even all-weather beach outings.
But people came first, and his close friends knew that. According to one of them, Susan Curley of Amagansett, “Larry had a real passion for staying in touch with people from all parts of his life. He reached out frequently with a song or a riddle or a memory.”
Musicians who played the Talkhouse are mourning his death, including Nancy Atlas. “It’s hard to believe it, but Larry has transitioned on along with his lion heart,” she said. “He was the trivia-loving, all-knowing bartender who greeted everyone who walked through the door with a hug, a smile, utter joy, and love. In an age when restaurants and bars come and go, Larry stood behind the Talkhouse bar from the beginning, weathering every storm, divorce, community tragedy, and countless wild nights. His presence assured us all that it was always going to be all right. I remember, in the early days of my band, that if we were really pumping, I would see Larry start to crawl up on the bar and ultimately do a split. That is the Larry I will always remember — laughing and telling me he believed and to keep going.”
According to a Stephen Talkhouse tribute posted on Facebook, “Larry was as much a part of the Talkhouse as the walls themselves. He was a constant through decades of change, and one of those rare people whose presence made a place feel like home. Larry was always there with a warm welcome, a big smile, and often a piece of trivia he couldn’t wait to share. Not a week went by that someone didn’t walk through our doors and ask, ‘Is Larry working?’ It is hard to imagine not seeing him there.”
Mr. Wagner’s survivors include two brothers, Keith Wagner and Brian Wagner, and their spouses, as well as his circle of friends, co-workers, and patrons.
A celebration of his life will take place at the Stephen Talkhouse on Nov. 29 from 6 to 9 p.m.
