Stopping Domestic Violence

Beatty Cohan

Beatty Cohan will speak at the East Hampton Library on Saturday from 1 to 3 p.m. about domestic violence prevention. She will begin the talk, titled "Stop Domestic Violence Before It Starts: Never Make a Mistake in Love Again," by going over the qualities of healthy relationships.

Ms. Cohan sees patients in New York and East Hampton, where she and her husband, James Vrettos, own a second home. She has estimated that over the years 70 percent of her patients have come to her with relationship problems.

When it comes to domestic violence, Ms. Cohan, a psychotherapist, author, columnist, and host of "Ask Beatty" on the Progressive Radio Network, said, "There are always clues. We ignore the clues. We make excuses."

She urges women to take responsibility and deal with their own issues before beginning intimate relationships. "If we don't do this, we're vulnerable and looking to be rescued," she said. "And if we're not in a good place ourselves, it's impossible to have a good relationship with anybody."

In her talk Ms. Cohan will emphasize her 10-step formula, based on her book, "For Better, for Worse, Forever: Discovering the Path to Lasting Love." The formula aims to help individuals "rate their mate" and figure out who is right and wrong before beginning intimate relationships.

The Retreat, a nonprofit domestic violence services organization in East Hampton, is the sponsor, and a representative will speak briefly during Saturday's program about services available here for anyone in an abusive relationship.

"If there was a shortcut to not having to go through any of this, I would have found it a long time ago," said Ms. Cohan, who has counseled patients in private practice for more than 40 years. "I wish I had known all of this when I was starting out my relationship life."