LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

Bon Appetit

Wainscott
June 30, 2005

To the Editor:

Let me resort to my wise-ass self and offer you my favorite "ad man" recipe. Aren't satire and hyperbole wonderful!

Spit-Roasted Fatted "Ad Man"
Feeds 100.
1 hairless plump "ad man" (250-lb. average)
25 to 30 garlic cloves
Garlic powder
Rosemary
Salt
10 lbs. onions
5 lbs. stuffing
4 to 8 cups shortening
4 ft. turkey wire*
Meat thermometer
Needle and string

Clean "ad man" and dry. Cut slits in skin and insert garlic cloves. Coat well with shortening. Prepare stuffing and combine with cut-up onions. Add apples and walnuts to stuffing, if desired. Pack cavity with stuffing and stitch closed. Wrap "ad man" in turkey wire lengthwise.* Coat well with garlic powder, rosemary, salt, and pepper.

Insert a large spit through the posterior opening and out through its mouth. This should be easy to do as both openings are rather large. A locust post is best. Cook three to five feet above a bed of coals six to seven hours, turning frequently. Add seasoning often.

Meat is done when skin shows deep splits and internal temperature is at least 180 degrees. Unwrap wire (which will bring most fat and skin with it) and serve. There may be a little gray matter in the head cavity. This should be avoided as it can be toxic.

Wine suggestion: Serve with crisp local sauvignon blanc, but be sure to have plenty of napkins and antacid tablets ready for your guests. Bon appetit!

*Important step as "ad mans" are known to explode like fireworks.

PAUL D'ANDREA

Bonac Food Chain

The gulls, having bogarted the

crab-and-conch dropping racket,

make the crows eat turtle-on-the

cracked-shell by the roadside.

Aloft, the crows send their slimy afterthoughts

down upon my windshield,

distracting my eye from the next

slow entree crossing.

Having gulled me into preparing their dinner,

the crows land cackling in my rearview mirror.

I, duh, drive on.

ED HANNIBAL

Spoke Well of Cod

Springs
June 30, 2005

To the Editor,

Regarding "The Wonders of Cod" by the excellent and entertaining Miriam Ungerer: As an ex-Bostonian, I feel it my responsibility to correct your poem, which some of us were brought up on. The Lodges don't belong where you put them and never did. It was the Lowells who speak only to Cabots, but I know they all spoke well of cod!

Sincerely,
EMILY COBB

No Amount of Truth

Amagansett
June 30, 2005

Dear Editor:

Listening to President Bush's speech was a deja-vu experience. If not verbatim, it was in essence a repeat of all his speeches, with the basic goal of rationalizing the horrific error in the invasion of Iraq and excusing its gross mismanagement.

He is still piggybacking the Iraq fiasco on the shoulders of the Sept. 11 horror, facts be damned. He knows that those who want to believe the lie will believe the lie and no amount of truth will get in their way.

It has become evident, save for the blind, that Sept. 11 was a convenient vehicle used by Bush to pursue his premeditated plans to attack Saddam Hussein's Iraq and to finish his daddy's war. What a good son. Unfortunately, because of this good son, thousand of parents no longer have their good sons.

CARL NOVAK

More Important

East Hampton
July 1, 2005

Dear David,

The last part of the 20th century had a number of leaders labelled war criminals and terrorists by the west who were in fact authors of violent actions who later became accepted in the west as moderate leaders and important allies.

Such notables include Nelson Mandela of South Africa, Kwani Nkrumah of Kenya, Emperor Hirohito of Japan, and some leaders of the Irish Republican Army. In short, over the years, people change, and it is always possible for your foe to become an ally, your hothead a force for stability.

Why then are our government and the press so emphasizing the possibility that the recently elected leader of Iran might have been involved in the detainment of Americans 26 years ago? Surely it is worth knowing, but isn't it more important - instead of attacking him - to explore the possibilities of working with him for peace and a stable, non-nuclear Middle East?

RICHARD ROSENTHAL