Drooling Extremist
East Hampton
December 19, 1998

Dear Editor,

Are the liberal Democratic crybabies of East Hampton aware that their poster boy Alec Baldwin has shown his true colors. He is a Neanderthal drooling reactionary extremist of the first order.

Unfortunately those are not my original words but those of John Kass, a journalist for The Chicago Tribune. During a stint on the Conan O'Brien Show, the darling of the liberal left, Alec Baldwin called for the stoning to death of Mr. Henry Hyde, his wife, and children, because Mr. Hyde's committee voted out articles of impeachment to the House of Representatives.

Who do you ask was impeached? The answer is another liberal Democrat, "Slick Willie."

I guess Alec has a problem dealing with the democratic process, but if you listen to liberal Democrats and Hollywood, any American that disagrees with them just doesn't get it.

Using women to get what he wants and then discarding them or destroying their reputations seems as normal to "Slick Willie" as lying before a grand jury. But when you don't know the meaning of "is" or "alone," and most Democrats seem to have a problem with those big words, what can we expect?

Helen, an editorial denouncing Alec Baldwin for threats on Mr. Hyde and his family would be the right thing for The Star to do.

Sincerely yours,

JOHN M. CARLEY
Republican Town Committeeman

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Clinton Is Forgiven
East Hampton
December 21, 1998

To The Editor,

Although I am a Republican Committeeman, I have decided to forgive Bill Clinton for lying to the grand jury while under oath.

I also forgive him for Whitewater, Filegate, Travelgate, selling missile guidance systems to the Chinese in return for campaign contributions, merchandising the Lincoln bedroom, multiple bimbos, and authorizing White House access to his pants zipper and belt buckle.

The reason for my reversal? Clinton attorneys and apologists have convinced me, and indeed all married men, that should we engage in extramarital "services" even with a paid hooker, our wives will understand that it was the hooker who had the alleged sex, not the husband.

This new understanding between America's husbands and wives, thanks to our President, is historic and rivals the Industrial Revolution in presenting monumental employment opportunities to present and future hookers regardless of age, race, or religion.

No pun intended, but on a personal level, I'm blown away.

Seriously,

JERRY PREISER
Republican Town Committeeman

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What Would Happen?
East Hampton
December 18, 1998

Dear Helen,

On my return from our trip to Washington, D.C., yesterday to protest the partisan impeachment of President Clinton, I was greeted by the news of the revelation made by incoming House Speaker Bob Livingston, of his numerous extramarital affairs during his 11 terms in Congress. According to a prominent magazine publisher, these extramarital interludes included phone sex (whatever that is).

I am not inclined to promote the madness that seems to be consuming Washington, but it seems to be that if Mr. Livingston were the President of the United States, the Republicans would be calling for a special prosecutor (with an unlimited budget) to investigate (1) whether any of those phone sex episodes took place in his office such that government phone equipment and lines were utilized, and (2) whether he is telling the truth as to whether his affairs were not with his employees.

Since Mr. Livingston is a House member and not a member of the Executive Branch, a special prosecutor is not necessary, so perhaps the Justice Department, in keeping with fair and equal treatment, will begin its investigation of Mr. Livingston, and question him about these episodes.

Perhaps a liberal organization can coax one of his paramours (by paying her legal fees) into starting a lawsuit so that he can be deposed and questioned under oath as to the specifics of these affairs, who he touched, where, when, and what gifts he may have given to these persons with whom he had affairs, etc.

Then we would have the spectacle of the Speaker of the House of Representatives, next in line to be President after the Vice President, being interrogated under oath, forced to answer embarrassing questions about his personal life and how it may have mingled with his public responsibilities, and see whether these issues of judgment would be sufficient for the majority of the House (from his own party) to remove him from office. What do you think would happen?

Very truly yours,

CHRISTOPHER KELLEY

P.S. This letter was written prior to Mr. Livington's announcement on Saturday. The recommendation in the letter still applies and would give Mr. Livingston an opportunity to clear his name (if it can be cleared) prior to his leaving office in June.

Should Be Preserved
East Hampton
December 19, 1998

Dear Editor,

I would like to express my concerns about the Town Board's recent recommendations to amend the Town Code to further protect agricultural areas of East Hampton.

It is my hope that the town will be aggressive in its pursuits to protect as much open space as possible. And that members of the community will always be able to appreciate the precious vistas which make our home so special.

After attending a recent Town Board open hearing on this subject, I was shocked to find out just how little land here is protected, and what could actually happen to this land if the owners decided to sell.

Much of this land is owned by farmers who still farm it or lease it to other farmers. If this land is allowed to be developed or made into a park with lighted fields, outdoor stages for music festivals, and 400 parking places, then where will farmers grow their crops 10 years from now?

We all know that local economics and technology have drastically reduced farming on the East End, but tell me please: Where, if this land is gone, will crops be grown in the event that we, the people of East Hampton, truly need to grow food for our own mouths? And this is a real possibility. For that reason alone it should be preserved.

At the same time, I think the Town Board should work closely with the landowners and farmers to help them continue their work. In the event they one day want to sell, then be prepared to make it worth their while in real everyday dollars.

There are programs in action on local government levels that are very successful in communities nationwide. Our Town Board should study such programs.

While I admire the effort and consideration that went into the recent proposal for Landmark Park on Long Lane, I believe it would be terrible to consume 42 acres of remaining open space to do so. Why not look in Montauk, Amagansett, Wainscott, the Northwest Woods, and Georgica for smaller areas within neighborhoods, or just outside them?

Why not refurbish and upgrade existing fields and add others in areas where they would make a nice fit? There are sites in these hamlets that merit exploration. The proposed plan is too ambitious for one location. So spread it out and help keep traffic down at the same time.

In closing, I just want to ask anyone who reads this letter to remember the last time you drove down Route 114 or Long Lane. In fact, I know many who go a little out of the way just to take Long Lane into town.

And tell me, can you imagine on those fields six lit athletic fields, 400 parking spaces, and an outside stage for music festivals? Or would you prefer 12 to 14 houses with pools and tennis courts out back? It could happen, really.

And lost forever would be the green field, openness, and the light. A part of life in East Hampton we all cherish. Probably one of the reasons you or your parents came here to begin with. Just think about that sunset behind the lights from the baseball field. Doesn't seem right, does it?

I'm not a man who doesn't want to share my paradise. But here we have a problem: These areas, whether they be open fields or woods, are truly like an endangered species in nature. We need to protect these areas with a vengeance. We need to look for ways to work with and improve upon what we have, and try to conserve, not consume. Or else there will be nothing left for us to share as a community rich in history.

Otherwise, what will we ever be able to remember about "the way East Hampton used to be?" You tell me, and your Town Board too. I urge you to write them a letter. Thank you.

Sincerely,

EDSEL WILLIAMS

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Farmland Is Precious
East Hampton
December 17, 1998

To The Editor,

On behalf of the Hansom Hills Homeowners Association, we wish to express our strong opposition to the proposed Landmark Park. We were shocked and outraged to learn that certain special interest groups would like to sacrifice the agricultural reserve land between Long Lane and Route 114 to build recreational facilities and a 400-car parking lot!

The town planners, in their wisdom, chose to keep this beautiful area as agricultural preserve. The code provides for farmers to be fairly compensated for their development rights. The development of these tranquil fields (as has been proposed) would create noise, air, trash, and light pollution - not to mention chaotic and unmanageable traffic congestion.

East Hampton is well supplied with recreational facilities, many of which appear to be underutilized. Our precious farmland not only provides valuable refuge for birds, but is the one feature that distinguishes East Hampton from countless congested, overdeveloped, quasi-suburban communities on Long Island.

As a prophet for our time once observed, "Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone?" Let's not "pave paradise and put in a parking lot." Please, stop Landmark Park before it's too late!

Sincerely yours,

JARED BROWN
President
Hansom Hills
Homeowners Association