I wrote the letter, sealed it with red wax and a kiss and sent it off to the North Pole. It goes like this:
All I want for Christmas is a new knee. I’ve seen three specialists, my general practitioner, and have gotten five diagnoses: arthritis, a possible fracture, bursitis, edema, and a bruised tibia. Not one of them has offered me a fix, and I’ve been broken for over a year.
I’ve had three M.R.I.’s, countless X-rays and, as a result, now glow in the dark, so it will be real easy to find me out here at the tip of Montauk. I used to be very active and was once compared to a hummingbird, always buzzing around. But now, I’m more like a slug. C’mon Santa, enough is enough! I need some otherworldly help.
After I recently braved the hill leading up to the Montauk Lighthouse with my grandson to visit with you and take holiday pictures, my knee swelled up to the size of a coconut. Which means it’s partly your fault. But I’m not blaming you, Santa, I’m just asking for help or a doctor who can fix me. I don’t want to be shipped off to the Island of Misfit Toys where Rudolph went because of his red nose.
I’m not having any fun this holiday season, Santa, as I cannot handle the hustle and bustle of shopping. Ten minutes in, and the stabbing pain starts to throb.
When I initially had pain I underwent surgery in April 2010 for a displaced kneecap, or patella, as the professionals call it, a torn meniscus, and worn cartilage. In recovery a new pain developed, one worse than any other pain I experienced in the knee. I was told I had bursitis, probably from trying too hard to recover, one doctor said.
After reading my M.R.I.’s, each of the three knee doctors asked if I had been in an accident or suffered a blunt force trauma. Except for the initial surgery, I had not. I think I would remember if someone whacked me in the knee or I were in an accident. In treatment I had several knee injections, did physical therapy, acupuncture, and finally fired my main knee doctor, who might still be hearing from my medical malpractice lawyer wh